Thursday, February 17, 2011

Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves

My sister, what a copycat! I told her last weekend that I started a blog this year. Now, of course, she has a blog. I just read her first two posts. Dammit, I think she is funnier than me.

She talked about me in her post...as if I wasn't going to read it. Hellooo! She claimed we have nothing in common...well, I think this picture shows we have the same nose. So there! And we sound the same on the phone. Our parents can never tell us apart. Frequently, I'll carry on a five minute conversation with our father, and then he'll declare, "OH, this is Carol! I thought I was talking to Kathy." Never mind that Kathy lives with him and is HOME most of the time, but that's a whole other story for another day. Once, when we lived together as adults, I called home one day to leave a message for myself on the answering machine (yes, pre-voicemail and cell phone days) to remind me to do something when I got home. So, later that day, I come home from work and see that we have a message on the answering machine. I listen to it and spend five minutes trying to figure out why Kathy left me a message to do whatever it was. Derrrrr, you left the message for yourself moron. See, even I can't tell us apart. And, a friend of ours insists that we laugh the same and that we repeat our boring stories the same way.

And, yes, we both dislike diet and exercise. And we both have bad vision. And, we already talk about how we'll be the "crazy spinster sisters" living in Farley when we are in our dotage. At least we won't be crazy cat ladies. Crazy dog ladies, maybe. Speaking of dogs...I went to the Pooch Palace in Solon tonight with a friend to pick up her baby. A swank little dog boarding place out in the country. We wondered if the business could be lucrative. Hmmm, we ran the numbers roughly in our heads. They can hold a max of 18 dogs @ a little over $30/night. Evidently, they are almost always booked. By my fuzzy math, they are grossing over $200K per year. Yes, I think I will be the crazy dog lady when I'm old.

But I digress...

My sister has this goofy notion that she's a vegetarian now. Well, I am not giving up the cow or bacon. Don't get me wrong. I love cows. We had some pet cows when we were kids. In fact, one of them I affectionately called Blackie (original name for a black angus...) was so tame I would sit on his back and pretend to ride him, since my dad wouldn't buy me a horse. I loved him as a pet, and I loved him as a sizzling T-bone steak on my plate. So, I plan to keep on being a carnivore, thank you very much.

Another major difference is that I'm like a fish in water and Kathy is like, ummmm, a big old rock? The girl can't swim. And, she's stiff as a board in water. When we were in the Bahamas, I was totally stoked to swim with the dolphins. Kathy....not so much. She wouldn't even attempt to do the "foot push," where you float on your stomach and two dolphins come up behind you and put their noses on the balls of your feet and push you up and out of the water....like you are flying. It was a blast! I went to this dolphin encounter before I saw the documentary "The Cove." I won't patronize a place that has dolphins in captivity again. In Australia, I went on a wild dolphin swim, which was totally amazing!

So, as much as I joke and laugh and tease about my sister...she'll always be my sister, and no one can take that away from me.



 


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