Sadness in Our World

Listening to the news this morning, it is extremely hard to feel joy on this beautiful summer sunny morning. Two black men killed at the hands of police this week, and last night, five Dallas police officers gunned down at a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest. 

What are we becoming? 

I feel such sadness because I have such conflict on this topic. On the one hand, I have been in a 25-year relationship with a black man. On the other hand, I have a nephew and several cousins who are police officers. 

Institutional, overt, and silent racism continues to exist in this country. While with my significant other, or members of his family, I have seen the different ways I am treated versus the way they are treated. My significant other is the last person who would "play the race card." He honestly looks at all people as people -- smart, funny, loving, hateful, ignorant, jerk, or outright asshole. He doesn't make a judgment based on what they look like. I get more infuriated at the subtle racism he experiences almost daily than he does. He is a better person than me. 

I love my nephew too. He is one of those rare people who proclaimed when he was about 4 or 5 years old that he wanted to be a cop, and he was never deterred. He worked with the police while he was in high school, he majored in criminal justice while in college, he volunteers as an EMT in his community, he worked as a park ranger and a bicycle cop while in college. He loves his wife, his baby daughter, dogs, and his boat. He loves my significant other. They have been buddies since he attended my significant other's basketball camp when my nephew was 9 or 10 years old.  

I worry about my nephew all the time when I hear of people retaliating against police officers. I worry that one day my nephew might be involved in a crazy altercation and in the heat of the moment, something happens, a shot is fired, and someone who might not have needed to die, does. Since becoming a police officer, my nephew has been hit, scratched, spit on, kicked on numerous occasions. I am constantly amazed of his stories. 

By the same token, I am constantly amazed that black men are killed by police under strange circumstances. 

I don't have the answers. 

But, I am sad. 

I am scared for our country. 

We are not progressing. 

We seem to be regressing.  

Moving by Garbage Bags

I moved last week. The townhouse that I was renting for the past 5 years is being sold. I was ready for something new. I actually like my new place much better. I purposefully chose to pay rent for May in both the old and new places so I could move on an orderly and relaxing fashion.

Sometime after the fifth day and twenty-second trip back and forth I said eff it! When the movers arrived on Friday,  I found myself maniacally throwing everything that didn't require two people to lift it into a garbage bag. I suddenly looked like I lived in a landfill. But, everything got moved and it is much easier to smash one more bag into the car than it is a box.

142 Day Fitness Challenge - Day 99

I bet you thought I forgot about my personal challenge. Ha! Fooled you. Though my life continues to get in the way of of work outs, eating right all the time, and blogging, I haven't forgotten my ultimate goal. My much...MUCH...MUCH anticipated vacation is now just 42 days away.

Even though I have been radio silent for the past 84 days, I've made some progress, though slow. I am down 12.5 pounds. All in all, I guess that's not too terrible.

I saw an article online tonight that said people who drink diet soda lose more weight than people who drink water. This further solidifies that all this diet crap that permeates the TV, magazines, weight loss programs, and grocery stores is just that...a bunch of crap. I'm so over it. All I am trying to do now is eat normal food...nothing packaged or frozen (well, except frozen broccoli florets - I do eat a lot of those). And ice cream. That is one of my indulgences.

You seriously can go crazy making your way through the maze of Paleo, gluten free, no carb, low carb, Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, juice, cleanset, vegan, or vegetarian diets....ugh!

How about just eating less and eating good food.

Oh...here's a breakthrough for me over the past few months. Spaghetti has long been my favorite food, and I still enjoy a nice hot plate of it every now and then. But, I used to have pasta with my meals almost every day. Now that I have been incorporating more fruits and vegetables into my eating, I realize how bland pasta really is, and I would just as soon skip it than eat something that adds no flavor or no nutritional value.

Progress!

Fitness Challenge Day 15 and Fat Tuesday

Mardi Gras! Fat Tuesday! Ummmm, yeah, nothing screams FAT like this photo of me. Oy vey. This pic was taken about 11-12 years ago at a company golf outing. I remember that it was ungodly hot that day, something like 105 and humid. (Hot...remember what that feels like? I've kind of forgotten this winter...but, I digress). 

I am pretty sure when this photo was taken I was at my fattest ever. I hate to admit that at the beginning of this year, I was actually close to that weight. I look awful, right? I am happy to report that since the first of the year (not just my "fitness challenge"), I have dropped 11.5 pounds. It's only scratching the surface, but keeping this picture posted on my mirror inspires me. 

I'm continuing my run/walk 5Ks and can report that this morning I completed the 5K in under 50 minutes. That's even 3+ minutes faster than I did in the real 5K I claimed to train for back in 2011. That was the last time I seriously tried to be a "runner." It's kind of weird, but I almost ... sort of ... have started looking forward to those morning 5Ks. I've temporarily abandoned the boot camp classes I was attending. I don't know if it's general old age or lack of physical shape, but my shoulders have been acting up lately, so I decided I needed to give them a respite from the boot camp classes. The way they have been feeling, I am worried that my water skiing career might also come to a premature end. 

Body - don't fail me now.

Day 7

Today I ran for 5 minutes. Seriously. That was an accomplishment for me. A couple of years ago, when I sort of trained for that 5K, was the last time I did any significant running. So, the 5 minutes today interspersed with my usual 5K walk on the treadmill felt good and exhausting at the same time.

It's only been a week, but with a few more yoga workouts than normal and some targeted stretching and resistance training. I feel better already. Now that I think about it, maybe I feel better thanks to that root canal last Thursday! You get so used to a dull pain that your forget what it's like not to have it.