Are You Swimsuit Ready?

The outdoor sign at the fitness club in my neighborhood asks this question...in big block letters. I see it every morning at 5:15 when I am walking Bailey. I see it again when I leave for work and again when I walk Bailey after work. After seeing this for several weeks, I'm still perplexed by what it means.

Is there really a certain standard one must attain before putting on a swimming suit? What is that? Does your body need to be firm and toned like Madonna? Do you need to be below the "overweight" or "obese" categories on the BMI chart? Does someone else just need to look you over and say, "Yup, you pass. Don swimsuit now."

I'm pretty sure that if I waited for someone to give my body a passing grade to wear a swimsuit, I would *never* have worn a swimsuit. Even back when I was a kid...my chubby thighs and muffin top would have kicked me out of contention.

Who makes these rules? A friend recently posted on Facebook some "rules" she read on More magazine's website. It listed the age at which women should stop wearing certain styles. Such as:

• Bikini, 47
• Miniskirt, 35
• Boob tube, 33
• Stilettos, 51
• Belly-button piercing, 35
• Knee-high boots, 47
• Sneakers, 44
• Leather trousers, 34
• Leggings, 45
• Ugg boots, 45
• Swimsuit, 61
• Tight vest, 44
• See-through chiffon blouse, 40
• Long hair, 53
• Ponytail, 51

Boob tube! God...I had forgotten about those. I remember desperately wanting to wear those in junior high/high school. Not on Pearl's watch. I'm OK, with about half the items on this list...because, quite frankly, they have never been a part of my wardrobe. But, rest assured, I will wear a swimsuit after 61 and a ponytail after 51..especially since I can keep my long hair until I'm 53.