Sunday, August 28, 2011

Life in an Instant

I've been thinking a lot about the fragility of life the past few days. How you can wake up one day thinking it is a normal day and by day's end your world has been turned upside down.

An instant -- an infinitesimal space of time; especially a point in time separating two states.

A former co-worker, just 44 years old and the father of three young boys, dies of a heart attack at work during a team building activity. It was his boys' first day of school. A young woman, set to begin her senior year in high school, dies when she loses control of her scooter. Some say she was momentarily distracted by a friend who honked and waved at her. Her mother, suffering from pancreatic cancer, dies just ten days later. A young man and father of a baby girl is shot to death in circumstances that are not yet clear.

In each case, one moment these individuals were full of life and hopes and dreams for the future. In an instant, their lives ended leaving spouses, parents, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and friends mourning their unexpected loss and questioning their own faith, future, mortality, and why a loving God lets things like this happen.

Admittedly, I have many doubts about faith, and "God's Plan," and the idea that those we have lost are in a "better place." I think of loved ones I have lost and quite honestly think the best place for them would be here, among the living, with their family and friends who need them. My Catholic upbringing leads me to believe that we will all be reunited some day when we all raise up and that if we have led a "good life," we will be rewarded in heaven. I try to believe this, but really, how do we know that we just aren't dead? That's it...the show is over.

Some say that God doesn't give us burdens more than we can handle. Well, I've honestly seen a lot of people I know and love brought to their knees by the unexpected and untimely death of a loved one. I don't think we can always handle the challenges we face. Sometimes, it is just too much.

To me, death brings a void that can never be erased. Time may lessen the raw pain of the loss, but the loss is still there. Memories and moments of life that will never be made.

Death, except for those who have lived a full life, will remain a mystery to me. I found this poem by Maya Angelou. It sums it up beautifully.

When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. 
I  find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question 'Death, where is thy sting? ' with ' it is here in my heart and mind and memories.'



Rest in peace Drake Morris, Jr. You will be missed.
Life Goes On...


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