Crossroads

I went to the gym today. Yes, you read that correctly! I bought a membership to the University of Iowa Rec Centers this week and tonight was my first official night to go. If I go at least 8 times per month, my company reimburses me $20/month for the cost of the membership. This is good, there has to be some kind of incentive for me to go besides just trying to be healthy. That's boring.

Tonight seemed like a good night for my first foray into the CRWC...that's Campus Recreation & Wellness Center to the uninitiated. It's a beautiful new building in downtown Iowa City that just opened in August 2010. It has everything you could want in a fitness center: an abundance of fitness equipment and weights, a rock climbing wall, an indoor track, a gym, and the prize jewel in my mind...a natatorium, which is a fancy word for a pool. But, oh, what a pool. It's the home of the UI swim team, so it's an Olympic sized pool complete with diving platforms. I picked tonight to go work out for the first time because spring break started today, and I hoped there would be fewer agile college students staring at me as I was dragging my fat arse around checking out the equipment. I was right...it wasn't very busy.

As I plodded along on the treadmill with the built-in TV screens and looked out toward the UI library and Burlington Street, I thought back 30 years...yes THIRTY...to my freshman year at Iowa. When it was spring break, I didn't have the luxury of heading to Florida or Cancun, I just headed to Farley. In fact, I never went anywhere other than home during spring break. But, really, it was fine. I probably would have hated it. I've never been one to prance around on a beach in a bikini. I don't really like crowds. I dislike crowds of drunken people even more, and I've never been one interested in drunken hookups. I like to think that I spared myself a lot of humiliation by being safely ensconced in Farley during spring break. Well, I suppose you could count the trip that my BFF Cathy and I took to Des Moines for one night during spring break of freshman year. We thought we were so cool, staying at a Best Western hotel, going to the mall, and eating at Chi Chi's. Is Chi Chi's even still in business? We met up with one of our friends who lived on our floor in Burge Hall. She was visiting her cousin and staying at his apartment. We stopped over there...he was an odd duck. We felt weird so we went back to our hotel and, I don't know, probably jumped on the beds and ate junk food or something.  

OK...14 minutes in on the treadmill at 4 mph with a 3.5 incline...working up a sweat. I forgot my iPod, so I can only read the close-captioning on the Channel 7 news, which is mostly about the devastating earthquake in Japan. I begin to think I need to get a part-time job typing closed captioning because whoever is doing this broadcast is terrible. Every other word is misspelled and the other half of the words are missing, so it's difficult to piece together what is being said. There is a story about nine U of Iowa students who are studying in Japan this semester. They were able to contact all nine and they are safe. None were directly in harm's way of the earthquake and tsunami.

My mind starts to wander again of the course of my life from freshman year to this moment. I think back to choices I made along the way that altered the course of my life. These aren't earth-shattering choices. In fact, at the time I didn't much give them a second thought, but with all the life wisdom gained in the past 30 years, I think of how a few might have made my life quite different. 

The first was probably my decision to transfer from the U of Iowa after my freshman year. In all honesty, the only reason I even chose the U of Iowa was because my friend Cathy was going there. I didn't apply to, look at, or even consider any other options. I wasn't even all that sure I wanted to go to college. There are a whole host of life choices that I'm sure I overlooked on that decision. Had I stayed at Iowa, I suppose I would have graduated with a business degree of some sort and then gotten a job in Chicago or something. I would have probably trekked to Iowa City each October for homecoming and followed the football team to bowl games. Heck, I might have even tried out for marching band. But, instead, I transferred first to Clarke College in Dubuque, quit school for a semester, moved to Texas and enrolled in a fashion college. Yes, the kind of school advertised in the back of Seventeen magazine. I realized after about two days that it was a school for dumb--and I mean DUMB--rich girls. For example, business math was how to use a calculator. After I explained that I had already taken college calculus, I got to opt out of that class. I lasted about four months, but I had a 4.0 when I completed my "fashion certificate."

Fortunately, the University of Texas Arlington was two blocks away. So, one day I walked over and signed up. That was in the boon of Texas oil days and tuition even for out state residents was super cheap. I'm talking like $400/semester for a full course load. I graduated after three and a half years, thanks to my two years as a non-major, my semester off, and my stint at fashion college. I had a lot of electives. When I was a couple of months from graduation, my boss in the financial aid office suggested to me that I should move to Washington, DC and get a government job/internship for at least a few years. She told me that DC would be filled with people my age from all over the country, and that I would make great connections and gain valuable experience. I didn't even consider this as an option. Again, I didn't even look into it at all. Now, after working on government contracts for the better part of the last 15 years, and having a better understanding of how things work on the "Beltway," I realize what sage advice she was giving me. By now, I could have 25 years experience as a public servant and be well on my way to early retirement with federal benefits. I could have been among the movers and shakers. But, instead, I decided to move to the Twin Cities.

1986 was not necessarily a banner year for employment for recent college grads. After being unemployed for four months and getting countless rejection letters, I took a job with a temp agency. Because of my financial aid experience in college, I was hired to enter student loan applications into a guarantee agency's database. It was mind-numbing work, but I prided myself on my speed and accuracy. After just three weeks, I was offered a permanent full-time job in their claims department. The very day that I accepted, I received another job offer to be an accounting clerk with a locally-owned chain of Italian restaurants in the Twin Cities. I told them, "No thanks, I've accepted another job." I was so young and dumb. I didn't even ask what the salary was. The job in the claims department was going to pay a whopping $12,500 per year with the possibility of some overtime. Who knows, had  I take the job with the Italian Restaurant, I might have become a mogul in the restaurant business. Maybe I'd have had my own franchise. At the very least, I'm fairly certain I would *not* have been headed to my career in financial aid.

Fast forward about 13 years. I was living in Indiana, still working in financial aid. I was ready for a change. Simultaneously, I was offered a job at my former company in Iowa City and had completed a second comprehensive interview with the U.S. Department of Education (ED), based in Dallas. Without waiting to find out the results of that second interview at ED, I was packing for Iowa. Another shot at a job as a public servant and a future with federal benefits forsaken. 

Don't misunderstand my musings about my choices as dissatisfaction with my life. Quite the contrary. I look at all the wonderful experiences and friendships that I quite possibly would have missed if the choices at those junctures had been different. If I hadn't spent a year at Clarke, I would have missed out on friendships with Kay and Cruiser. If I hadn't moved to Texas, I wouldn't have rekindled my friendship with Donna...who has been a steadfast friend since first grade. I wouldn't have gained that financial aid experience, which has provided me with many opportunities and professional friendships over the years. If I hadn't worked at the student loan agency, I would not be friends with my dear friend Craig in St. Paul. I cannot imagine a Craig-less life...after nearly 25 years, he has an uncanny knack of always making me laugh and always knowing what I'm really thinking. If I hadn't moved to Dubuque for a position as an assistant director of financial aid, I would not have met Grayling...who, for better or worse, has been a very significant part of my life for nearly 22 years. If I hadn't moved to Iowa City...I would have missed knowing some of the best friends and co-workers that a person could have. Katie, Liz, Sara, Cassie, Gary, Paul, Hayden, and so many others. You all enrich my life in countless ways. 

Maybe those other paths would have lead to equally satisfying relationships. But maybe not. Maybe I would have been miserable in DC. My cholesterol, BP, and weight might have gone sky high working at the Italian restaurant. I didn't really like Texas the first time I lived there, what makes me think I would have liked it any better the second time. I think, right where I am is where I am supposed to be. 

35 minutes on the treadmill...I'm sweaty. Thankfully, I have on my Nike Dri-Fit shirt. I mostly walked, but I did jog for a couple of segments until I thought I was going to fall off the treadmill. The computer says I burned 385 calories. Hmmmm, I don't think that covers the chocolate that I devoured at my desk this afternoon. My goal...go to the gym again on Saturday and Sunday. I need to get my 8 visits in for the month so I can start recouping my $20/month.