Comings and Goings

I can't believe it is already February. January was here and gone before I knew it. Actually, that's not exactly true. I knew that January was here every step of the way. 2013 has come in like a lion for me, and I thought that was not supposed to happen until March.

The year started in the tank because I was still missing my sweet Bailey. I turned 51 on the 3rd, celebrating another year with the Breakfast Crew downing half-price martinis at Joseph's. Life got a little happier around my house on the 10th with the arrival of Bailey2. She is a little ball of fire, who has made me laugh every day since she arrived.

Then, on the 14th, when I should have been excited for a dear friend's birthday, I was instead mourning the passing of another dear friend's mother. A few days later, I found out my kindergarten teacher passed away. I don't know if every kid loves their kindergarten teacher, but Mrs. Sweeney was an icon in Farley. Everybody had her for a teacher and everybody loved her.

The following week I came down with a mild case of the flu. Several years ago, when I used to scoff at the prospect of getting a flu shot, I came down with a severe case of influenza after returning from a vacation in Australia. I realized then why some people actually died from the flu. Although my flu this time around didn't compare to that, it still knocked me out of work for two days, completely zapped my energy for about four days, and left me with a lingering hacking cough that is only now starting to subside. Nasty germs out there.

Earlier this week, I was scheduled to fly to Washington, DC for a meeting with some of the leadership team at work. I was initially scheduled to leave Cedar Rapids on Sunday at 10:30 a.m., arriving in DC at 4:30 p.m. Due to the ice storm that was pummeling the area at the time, my 10:30 flight was canceled, and I got rebooked on the 3:30 p.m. flight. Secretly, I was hoping for another cancellation. That would have been so nice. We were delayed leaving Cedar Rapids until 5:00 p.m., arriving at O'Hare about 6 p.m. By this time, the sleet and freezing rain were in full force so no planes were taking off. Of course, that meant, there were no open gates for us to park so we were stuck on the tarmac in a little commuter jet for 3 hours. I missed my original connection to DC and was rebooked on the last flight out to DC that night. We finally got to the gate, and I made it to that flight with only about 15 minutes to spare. I arrived at the hotel in DC at about 1 a.m.

On Monday, I left DC on time at 2 p.m. Everything seemed on time for my connecting flight back to Cedar Rapids; however, about 5 minutes before we were scheduled to board the flight was canceled due to fog in Cedar Rapids. American Airlines graciously rebooked me on a flight leaving at 2:00 p.m. THE NEXT DAY. I called our corporate travel agency and they were no help, other than to say I could rent a car and drive home. Ummmm, no. I was already sleep deprived from arriving so late in DC the night before and who wants to drive 4 hours in the dark in the fog? Not me. I opted to take the shuttle to Northwest Indiana to visit a friend.

The next day, I arrived at the airport on time, we boarded on time, and then we sat. And sat. Evidently there was some snafu with the ground crew and nobody had loaded the luggage. By the time a crew showed up to start loading, a thunderstorm had blown in and the ramp was closed due to the lightening. We sat for another hour and 10 minutes before we finally were able to take off. After arriving in Cedar Rapids, we were informed there was no gate because the earlier Chicago flight was still at the gate due to the ground stop in Chicago. ARRRGGHHH!!! Can you say trip from hell? All this annoyance for a one hour meeting.

As eager as I was to see the start of a new year and to celebrate my birthday, I am happy to say goodbye to January. It was a month filled with too many emotions for me and a little too much stress.

Happy New Year

My first post of 2013 should be filled with all kinds of resolutions and optimism. I'm not up for it. I don't want to be pessimistic, but I feel surrounded by sadness that is hard to shake. My significant other's mom has been in intensive care since Christmas Eve, and suffered a setback last night. Another friend's father had a serious heart attack earlier in the week and is still in the hospital. When my friends are sad, I am sad. And, don't get me started on the fact that today is the two week anniversary of my Bailey's death. I'm still trying to snap out of that, but it is hard for me.

This morning I woke up to news that the Senate agreed on a bill to "save" us from the fiscal cliff. Now, the onus is on the House to agree to it. I have no hope that they will. The politicians will continue to politic and accomplish nothing, and we will have smaller paychecks because of increased taxes.

During World War II, the country made all kinds of sacrifices for the war effort. Food and gas were rationed, factories re-tooled to provide military supplies, women went to work to takeover for the men who went to war. Have we made sacrifices in the past 11 years since the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began? I'm not sure we have. Collectively, we seemed more worried about we, individually, didn't have.

Anyway, all these thoughts contribute to my weirdness today. Not to worry. My niece and nephew will be here soon to help me de-Christmas my house. There is nothing like the innocence and enthusiasm of a 5 year old and a 20 year old to make you feel better, along with the baked potato soup that is simmering and the fresh pan of brownies.

Happy 2013 to All.

How Do You Measure Grief?

Merriam Webster describes grief as deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement. And to be bereaved is to suffer the death of a loved one.

This week, I have been wondering if all grief is the same or if some grief is more poignant than others. As a nation, we mourn the deaths of 20 children and seven adults in the shooting rampage in Newtown, Connecticut. For the families who are burying their loved ones this week, particularly as the holidays approach, it seems that no loss could be worse.

Yesterday, I lost my beloved Sheltie, Bailey. She passed away while we were driving to Farley. Her death wasn't completely unexpected. She had just celebrated her 13th birthday the day before, and she had been battling heart disease for over six months. I dreaded the thought of losing her, but in my mind I always assumed she would get to a point where her quality of life had deteriorated, and I would have to make the painful choice to put her down. My sweet girl spared me that decision. She was sitting next to me in the front seat, as she had done hundreds of times before in the 11 years we were together. I knew I was losing her, but I was happy to be there with her, comforting her, talking to her, stroking her hair and rubbing her belly, just like I always did. She slipped away in a matter of minutes. I was devastated.

As I sat at home later watching TV, there were numerous updates on the latest with the Sandy Hook tragedy. While I was crying over the loss of my dog, families were burying their six and seven year olds. Did I have the right to really be that sad? I would tell myself no and shake myself out of it. But, later, when I would think of going home to an empty house, the tears would flow again.

Today, I found a little Christmas ornament that I bought last weekend. I had put it with some other items and totally forget about it. When I unwrapped it from the tissue paper, I remembered that I bought it "for Bailey." It was a little slate that read, "What part of woof didn't you understand?"

I'm still conflicted. Driving to Indiana today, I was listening to NPR when they carried coverage of President Obama's press conference appointing Joe Biden to a commission to identify ways to reduce gun violence and keep our citizens safe. I thought he delivered a very important message, especially when he recounted several additional deaths as a result of gun violence that have happened since last Friday.

I don't have any answers. Maybe there aren't necessarily different degrees of grief. Individually we all respond differently. I just know that I will miss my Bailey terribly. She was an awesome dog that was full of personality. This picture was taken less than two days before she died. I called it her birthday picture.

The World is a Mess...

The tragedy in Newtown, CT is just over 24 hours old and some are already using this horrific event to advance their personal causes. I read just a short time ago the names and ages of all the victims -- 20 of them were children ages 6 or 7. I cannot begin to imagine how frightened and confused those children must have been. 

I saw a post circulating on Facebook last night that said something like, "Dear God, Why do you allow so much violence in our schools? Signed a Concerned Student. Dear Concerned Student, I'm not allowed in schools." Come on... this tragedy has nothing to do with the presence or lack thereof of God in public schools. If you read and believe in the Bible, Joshua 1:5 states, "No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." That tells me that wherever I am, so is God. If you are a believer, I think it is safe to say that God was present at Sandy Hook Elementary yesterday and was with every school employee and child. 

There are a similar number of posts about stricter gun control laws and a ban on assault weapons as a way to prevent future tragedies of this nature. I am not a member of the NRA, I don't have a license to carry, and quite frankly, guns scare me. But, I have plenty of people in my family who are responsible gun owners. I don't think the presence of their guns necessarily makes me feel any safer, but I also don't believe that restricting their ability to purchase or carry guns will prevent any future events such as the shootings in Newtown. News reports indicate that the guns used by the shooter were legally purchased by his mother, who was a gun enthusiast. Throughout history, when laws have been enacted to prevent access to something,    criminal elements step in to meet the demand. It's really simple economics -- did anyone really stop drinking in during Prohibition? Have tougher drug laws stopped drug use. I am ready to stockpile incandescent lightbulbs if the government puts legislation in place to outlaw them in favor of fluorescent bulbs. 

The common thread in all of these mass shootings is mental illness. No one wants to have the tough conversations about how we treat mental illness and how mentally ill people are marginalized in our country. 

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I tried to finish my Christmas shopping today. I made progress, but didn't finish. I don't get too excited about it. It always gets done one way or the other. I don't actually have that many presents to buy. My problem is that the first several outings each holiday season become shopping trips for me! 

While I was out today, I stopped at Petland in Iowa City to pick up some dog food and a birthday treat for Bailey. My girl is going to be 13 on Monday, December 17th. 

     
That old rule of thumb about 1 year of a dog's life being equal to 7 years of a human isn't quite accurate from my quick search on Google. That ratio apparently decreases as a dog ages. So, instead of being like 91, it appears that Bailey is more like 77 or so. I'll have to be careful, then, about calling her old because that would make her about the same age as my mother. 

But, back to my trip to Petland -- I got very annoyed when I was there. The place was packed with people swarming over the puppies for sale. Business appeared to be booming. It was all I could do to contain my irritation and not scream out "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? DO NOT SUPPORT THESE PUPPY MILL PROVIDERS! IF YOU MUST HAVE A PUPPY, FIND A REPUTABLE BREEDER. OTHERWISE, PLEASE GIVE A WAITING DOG IN A SHELTER OR RESCUE GROUP A HOME. 

Look at my sweet Bailey. She was rescued from a puppy mill, and I got her from a rescue group 11 years ago. You can find any breed of dog in a rescue or shelter. I think people who shop for a dog at a pet store are uninformed and lazy! And, that's all I'm going to say about that. 

Fiscal Cliffs and Partisan Bickering

2012 marked the ninth presidential election I have voted in. I am a liberal and a staunch Democrat. I have voted for Jimmy Carter, Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Bill Clinton twice, Al Gore, John Kerry, and now Barack Obama twice. I'm not saying I would never vote for a Republican, I did vote for Chuck Grassley once because I couldn't believe how unimaginative the Democrats were putting Roxanne Conlin up against him.

My hard drive on my laptop crashed about 10 days ago, so I was kind of blissfully disconnected from social media leading up to and during the election. I say "kind of" because I did go rogue a couple of times when my Facebook withdrawal flared up, and I snuck a peek on my work laptop. I retrieved my laptop from the Geek Squad last night and got caught up on the days of posts I missed.

It's funny to me how divisive our elections have become. Perhaps it's just me. To be honest, I can be very apathetic about many things. Or, maybe I just don't take anything all that seriously. I make it a point to only discuss my political leanings with like company. I have many fantastic debates on the subject in my head, but really I don't want to be bothered with all the rhetoric because I'm not going to change my mind. I do try to understand the other side, but I just don't get it most of the time.

Case in point - here is a post that a friend/acquaintance posted on Facebook last night. It is true that this person is one of the very few people whom I call a friend and who is as devoted a Republican as I am a Democrat. 

OK...the election is over and hopefully the immediate emotion has passed. I've stayed pretty quiet but needed to share a thought. I'm not disappointed in the people who voted for Obama if they voted their convictions. We shouldn't criticize a person for exercising his/her opinion. I am disappointed that our country could re-elect a president, irrespective of party affiliation, who has added 75 people to food stamps for every job he's created. Perhaps more disappointing is the realization that this likely signals the last time we'll see a true two party system for the indefinite future. How do you overcome 46 million automatic votes? Does the next Republican candidate really have to promise to add 150 people to food stamps for every job he/she creates to have a chance? Is it really based on who hands out the most? I know that is a bit simplistic but not sure it is completely inaccurate. Again, I don't begrudge Democrats who voted their consciences but it is worrisome that a candidate with Obama's 4 year record could get elected. If we took just his credentials and took the name and party affiliation away, I don't think he'd get a vote from either party. Oh well...it is what it is. Now we have to hope our country can survive without becoming a much larger version of Greece. For everyone's sake, I hope Obama can change the direction the country is heading or the next recession will make this most recent one seem like a vacation.

I've highlighted the statements that really irked me. He makes it sound as if people are being added to the food stamp program for the fun of it or as a reward. Don't even get me started that more people were actually added to the program under former President Bush than under President Obama. I don't know what he is trying to say when he says, "How do you overcome 46 million automatic votes?" What it tells me is that he is sadly out of touch with the people who actually receive assistance from the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), which is what the program has been called since 2008. A few facts on the 46 million beneficiaries of the SNAP program:

• 47% percent of recipients are less than 18 years old
• 8% of all participants are age 60 or older, 73% of whom live alone
• 16% of all households include an elderly member
• 20% include a disabled member
• Nearly 40% of SNAP households receive the maximum allotment because they have little or no income
• Nearly 20% of households have no gross income
• Another 19% have no net income
• The maximum benefit for a family of four in fiscal year 2012 is $668, or less than $1.90 per person per meal.  

You can see that the argument isn't much of an argument. Approximately 21.6 million of the SNAP recipients aren't even old enough to vote. Receiving SNAP benefits is not a badge of honor. Recipients don't run down the street shouting "I WON! I WON!" when their EBT card is reloaded. Most of the people I have known who received benefits were embarrassed to need assistance. I'm also not sure how much the person who posted this comment spends on groceries for his family of five, but I know that as a single person, I can easily spend nearly $400/month on groceries, and I don't even keep all that much food in the house. Receiving SNAP isn't a money-making venture.

As a lifelong Democrat and bleeding heart liberal, I don't expect the government to take care of me. I don't feel entitled to anything. I happily pay my taxes -- without the benefit of deductions for a bunch of kids or a mortgage or unreimbursed business expenses -- and add on the school tax surcharge for my local school district, even though I do not have kids in school. It really annoys me when conservatives make references that imply "we expect the government to take of everything." No, we don't. It's just not true. I remember my mom making a comment when I was younger that we probably would have met the guidelines for free or reduced lunches at school because my dad was a self-employed farmer (and not that successful at it). But they didn't apply because they were too proud for that. I had several close friends who went through long periods of unemployment after the recession of 2007-2008, they hated being on unemployment because it made them feel like losers, and they did not apply for SNAP benefits, even though they would have been eligible.

I'm not saying that Obama is the shit. I'm not sitting here in awe of what he has done during the past four years, but as I commented in a prior blog, I personally -- and many of my family and friends -- am better off today than I was four years ago. I see steady progress. I see an overall resolve that there is more to do and that we should not be resting on our laurels. Had John McCain won in 2008, I honestly do not think our progress would be that markedly different.

 

Political Buzz

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a died in the wool Democrat. My grandma was a Democrat, and my dad was an active Democrat and local politician at one time. I got my political leanings from them.

As the years progressed, and I became older and wiser, my tolerance for political rhetoric has gotten very low. I suppose it started during the Clinton administration. While the country seemed to be prospering, those on the other side of the aisle put up numerous roadblocks to getting the business of running our country done -- to the point that there was even an unprecedented government shut down. I recognize that Bill wasn't exactly doing a lot to help his cause, what with "that woman, Monica Lewinsky" and the other numerous alleged transgressions.

After the disappointing outcome of the 2000 election, with hanging chads and Supreme Court decisions, I would have been all set to complain about everything President Bush did or said until September 11th happened. Certainly, history has shown us that not all of the decisions made that day or in the days, months, and years that followed were the right decisions. But, who can say, if faced with similar challenges, that anyone else would have acted any differently.

Fast forward to 2008 when the Democratic field was filled with many viable candidates. I was partial to John Edwards. I had met Elizabeth at a book signing she did at Prairie Lights in Iowa City, and her story of surviving the death of their son, followed by breast cancer, and the longevity of their love and convictions spoke to me. We know now what a sham that all was.

Now, we are in the midst of one of the most vitriolic campaigns in history. Honestly, I am not impressed by either side and part of me wants it all to just go away. I heard snippets from the Republican convention this week during news stories on NPR. I am compelled to respond to a particular comment from Mitt Romney's acceptance speech last night.

"But this president cannot tell us that YOU are better off today than when he took office."

Well, actually, Governor Romney, for me and for most of my family, I can truthfully say that, yes, I am better off today than I was when President Obama took office.

In 2008, when President Obama was elected, I was living in my friend's basement following the disastrous Iowa floods of June 2008. I had no flood insurance and the meager amount of money available to me through FEMA barely covered a new bed and sofa, which were destroyed when 3 feet of water inundated my home. With a little time and perseverance, I replaced my lost possessions and my home life returned to a normal pattern. In my career, I obtained a professional certification, received a promotion, and am now earning more than I ever have in my career. I have survived two company take-overs. And, for full disclosure, if "Obamacare" survives, 2013 will likely be my busiest and most rewarding/challenging year of my professional career.

Also since 2008, my sister who was a casualty of the economic downturn in the automobile industry, finally landed a permanent full-time position with a Fortune 500 company.

Five of my nieces and nephews graduated from four-year colleges and are now gainfully employed with jobs in their chosen fields. Five of my nieces and nephews, all under age 30, also became homeowners since 2008.

My retired parents are able to live comfortably, thanks to steady income through their pensions and Social Security. My father's numerous prescription drugs and health needs are covered through a combination of a Medicare Advantage Plan and VA benefits.

So, yes, Governor Romney, I am better off than I was four years ago. I know there are a lot of people out there who are not. But what irritates me about all politicians is the constant negativity.

I would like to see the Democrats win this election because they support the social issues I find important: same-sex marriage, a woman's right to choose, insurance coverage for birth control, access for women's health at organizations such as Planned Parenthood. But, Democrat or Republican, I have little faith that either side will live up to the promises they are spewing now to "fix" the economy, address our national debt, and secure the future for every American. Oh, don't forget ensure world peace, end global hunger, and stop global warming...just for good measure.  

Everyone should just go sit down, shut up, and get some work done.

I'm a Terrible Blogger

Eighteen months ago, when I was really serious about being a blogger, I had great expectations for being witty and relevant and followed by thousands of devoted fans. I thought I was one viral blog away from my 15 minutes of fame.

As you can see, I'm awful. I haven't posted a thing in over three months. Truth is, my life is pretty dull. If I am bored to death, why would anyone in their right mind want to read about my life. I can see now why reality shows are scripted. Life -- normal day-to-day, getting up and going to work, buying groceries, and doing laundry kind of life -- is tedious and not exciting.

Until early May, I was very busy at work with a proposal effort. That's my non-blogging excuse, I was too busy. After we got it submitted, I was too burned out to consistently write anything else.

Now, I have no excuses. Oh, I suppose I could use the "I'm focusing on my long-term genealogy project and family reunion planning" excuse, but I could still write if I was so inclined. I think it is the excessive heat and drought we are experiencing. Walking from the air-conditioned office to the car and back into an air-conditioned house every day is exhausting. My health club has been closed since May 31 for renovations. I don't even need an excuse not to work out. So, lazy has become my middle name.

I'm thinking snow and invigorating, cold, sun in my eyes, wind in my face kind of days. This is exactly why I did not stay living in Texas. The heat is not for me. I'll take winter any day. (Remind me of this in January when it is 20 below.)